The Captain's (B)log

Anything Flies!


 Reality Check!

*Buffering*  *Determining Location*  *Delivering Result*

 Citizens of earth,

Now that we got that out-of-the-way… today’s post was inspired when I asked myself why McDonald’s doesn’t sell hot dogs… I couldn’t answer it so I started wondering if it’s rude for a deaf person to talk (sign) with their mouth full of food… I was hungry at the time and wanted to stop thinking about edible material so I began to ponder where the defining line exists when it comes to partly cloudy vs. partly sunny… which got me thinking bigger and more comprehensively and BAM! I decided to research the weirdest and most intriguing things that have ever flown into space. A light sprinkling of the facts, salt, pepper, a dash of Captain Obvious and there you have it. A recipe for disaster. Enjoy!

1. Ashes Of The Creator of Star Trek:

In an extraterrestrial effort to immortalize Star Trek’s creator, Gene Roddenberry, some of the sci-fi legend’s ashes were flown in a small capsule on the space shuttle Columbia‘s STS-52  mission in 1992, the year booty-shaking dancing entered the mainstream with Sir Mixx-a-Lot’s Baby Got Back and Paul Lynck (Great Britain) did 124 push-ups with one finger. The shuttle delivered the tiny canister into outer space, where it orbited the Earth 160 times before being returned on the shuttle.

All kinds of sports jerseys, dirt from Yankee Stadium and even NASCAR starter flags have made it up in space… why NOT experiment with human cremation? “To the best of everyone’s knowledge, it was the first time that human remains were launched on a manned spacecraft,” said a NASA representative on the subject. “To the best of everyone’s knowledge”? What… are government intelligence agencies smuggling bodies into space to ‘leave no trace’? Are they trying to cover up the discovery of an intergalactic alien burial ground/space? Investigation pending.

'Nuff said.

2.  Buzz Lightyear: Disney teamed up with NASA to launch the little guy into space. Lucky piece of toy store merchandise!  The intrepid plastic figurine logged 468 days at the orbiting outpost, during which time he starred in educational videos as part of joint NASA and Disney outreach programs, inspiring millions… like the chick in the pic below.

3. Luke Skywalker’s Lightsaber:

The prop was the original one used by actor Mark Hamill, who played Skywalker in Return of the Jedi. The lightsaber flew to the space station and back to mark the 30th anniversary of the film franchise. I’ve always liked Star Wars a helluva lot better than Star Trek (the clueless wanker with Asbergers teaching us to be human is just too much, yes you Mr. Spock) but at the same time I’ve never been an ultimate Star Wars junkie. However I did see something more up my alley recently on the interweb.

You might be a redneck Jedi if… (source)

A. You prefer the phrase, “May the force be with y’all.”
B. The doors on your X-Wing are welded shut and you have to climb in through the windows.
C. You’ve used a light saber  to light the barbecue grill.
D. The disturbance you detected in the Force was last night’s baked beans.

What makes it even funnier is that I know many people who would act like this if they lived long ago in a galaxy far away… Ok, one last (remotely applicable but humorous) photo to observe and then I’m out of here :)

Revised history lesson on the ancient, yet over sized, glow sticks.

That concludes our session today ladies and gentlemen… I hope you’ll join me next time for another installment of Devastating The Obvious!

May the force be with you,

Darth Obvious

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3 thoughts on “Anything Flies!

  1. This post offends me.

    • Was it the insult to Star Trek? My reference to flatulence? My explanation of a disabled person’s predicament? Too much swagger not enough class? My infantile conspiracy theories? My laughter at the baby chicken’s hopeless plight when it came to flight? My display of the founding fathers grasping futuristic objects? Or last but not least my upscale reference to myself as a “DARTH” and you’re jealous…? :)

  2. aaahh, I love this post . ’nuff said.

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