Calling all nineties babies (and whoever else cares to come along for the ride;). Time to take you on a trip down memory lane, past these boring Saturday mornings and to the days it was worth getting up early for cartoons, past the streets where Nintendos and Sega consoles lay discarded hither and thither like some prehistoric gaming bone-yard and to the virtual battlefield where Mario, Sonic and Donkey Kong reigned supreme… to the days before Spongebob to the land of ring pops, beanie babies and back when Will Smith was funny.
The following 10 items are a mixed bag of things that make the simplest of sense and those as far-fetched as snap bracelets or slam books.
10. The black Power Ranger was black and the yellow Power Ranger was Asian because…we were so completely ahead of our time and beyond the capacity to even think in terms of something as inconsequential as race that… uh… I don’t know. Either Casting directors were racist in the nineties or that’s the most logical thing i’ve ever heard.
9. How will explain how to pronounce dysentery, let alone dying of it on the Oregon Trail without ever travelling outside my hometown.
8. One of your toughest decisions in life was to choose between the words “NOT” and “PSYCH!” to finish your sentence.
7. All-Boy and All-Girl Bands. Probably the only time that gender separation was totally acceptable and flourished. Bands like the Spice Girls, *NSYNC, and the Backstreet Boys dazzled the decade, even if their platform sneakers and frosted tips reminiscent of ramen noodles didn’t.
6. Taking Care of Inanimate Objects. Between teaching Furbys English and making sure their Tamagotchi creatures were properly fed, ’90s kids may have been prematurely introduced to parenthood (what else were they supposed to do before iPhones?).
5. Cassette Mix-Tapes. It’s not easy to wait all day, catch your favorite song of all time on the radio and get a clean recording with minimal radio DJ chatter.
4. Minesweeper. A game I have recently noticed failing to appear on recently made computers. I hope this movie they’re making brings awareness to severity of the situation. People’s lives are at stake.
3. Anything and everything to do with the Titanic. It was The Notebook of its time but I think I speak for most men forced to wade neck-deep in the drama when I share the nonsense this photo illustrates.
2. AOL Instant Messaging. Watch this video to watch the grand demise of AOL(My nickname was studfindersetteroffer… don’t judge)
1. Songs That Told You What To Do. Most of all I’m going to miss these. Everyone could pass as a decent dancer thanks to songs like “Vogue,” “Jump,” and “Everybody Dance Now (Gonna Make You Sweat).”
For all of you grown ups who remember more of Bill Clinton, Michael Jackson, the death of Kurt Cobain, the Buffalo Bill’s failed superbowl attempts and other depressing realities than happy meal beanie babies and rewinding cassettes with a pen cap: it’s the little things that we remember the most. So make them count.