We are gathered here today to commemorate the passing of my dear friend and constant companion… Beatty Pluggins. He was an exemplary headphone, living out loud and standing tall till the end… when he shorted out. It was his time. He was significantly waxed on in ears and an old soul. Taken from us at the ripe old age of 12 months. Since this is an open casket funeral please form two single file lines and wait your turn to view the deceased.
Now if you will all retake your seats. I was with Beatty to hear his eloquent, final and fuzzy words…
“I hear they have 70 brand new pink & purple headphones waiting for me up there…” He said.
I couldn’t let him go out believing a lie so I replied “I hate to tell you but that’s not true Beatty… they’re all refurbished.”
He breathed a sigh of static disappointment “Oh..” and expired.
So passed the one I would listen to when I didn’t want anyone else to talk to me, the one who knew just how I liked my bass and treble in the morning. He is survived by myself and all of you. As are all in this world who have who have died to date (and for all of you who ARE dying to date, think again, dating isn’t all it’s cracked up to be).
I know Beatty would want us to share about our own loved ones… whether they be amp, stereo, radio, headphone, speaker or even power cord, Beatty didn’t discriminate and that speaks volumes. So, I will open it up to those of you who would like to share your own story or pay your witty comments and respects to my friend Beatty.